A Rich Young Man Who Needs a Wife: part 1

1 A rich young man who needs a wife
is living under constant threat.
For how can one with such a life
survive in London where it's rife
with eager maids who toil and sweat
to catch a victim in their net?

2 Endurance must become the creed
of any man who can't decide.
He knows that hasty love can lead
to watching all his funds recede.
He wishes he could find a guide
to show him where the nice girls hide.

3 If some young lady shows regard,
an eldest son will live in dread.
He'll find that pressure squeezes hard
unless his wits are kept on guard.
His nagging parents want him wed
but he should play the field instead.

4 He needs to be more versatile
when difficulties are revealed.
To circulate is such a trial;
those greedy girls aren't worth his while.
So some young men go far afield
to see what other places yield.

5 But when a man decides to lease
a house in some old county land,
the fellow will not rest in peace
because his neighbours never cease
to make the very same demand:
that he must choose their daughter's hand.

6 In Meryton you'll find a street
where many lurking parents wait.
You'll notice there a nice retreat
called Netherfield, a place replete
with things to tempt a likely mate.
This place can be your lady-bait.

7 To take this house there comes a man
with happy face and sparkling eye.
This Bingley has a master plan
to check out all the girls he can.
If this is where the ladies lie,
he hopes to find a wife nearby,

8 His sister, though, is not so sure.
She thinks he's made a big mistake.
If it's a wife he wants to lure,
then why a place that's so obscure?
She feels that for the family's sake,
he should consider what's at stake.

9 And Bingley brings to his estate
a friend of quite imposing stripe,
with pedigree of heavy weight
and sense of style that's quite ornate.
This Darcy's the unmarried type;
a wealthy man who's very ripe.

10 Where needy women are concerned
this Darcy is a careful sort.
Through long experience he has learned
that careless men are quickly burned.
The women that he tries to court
are those who never need support.

11 So Darcy often takes offense
with what his best friend has in mind.
"I really hope that you'll dispense
with trying things that make no sense.
These country girls just want, you'll find,
to have a marriage licence signed."

Welcome to DarcyVerse

Fitzwilliam Darcy is one of the luckiest characters in all of English literature, for he wins the heart of the wondrous Elizabeth Bennet.

But what did the poor fellow go through while Jane Austen was chronicling all of Lizzy's trials and tribulations? How many counties did Bingley drag him through before they ended up in Hertfordshire? How many unsuitable love affairs did Darcy have to save Bingley from until the latter met Jane Bennet?

"DarcyVerse" is not short for "Darcy's Universe." This blog actually contains actual narrative verse about the man, sometimes spoken by Darcy himself.

How good is this verse? I really don't know. You tell me; that's what this blog is for.

If you tell me it's great, then that's very uplifting but not very helpful. If you tell me it's crap, then that's helpful but disheartening.

But if you can point out an unnecessary stanza, a threadbare phrase, a lazy word, or even a poorly chosen letter, then that helps me to improve the poem. Or something on a larger scale that will help me improve the poem.

But if you can't help me improve it, then just tell me it's great.